They Punctured My Yolk

I haven’t been feeling very smurfy lately. I won’t bring you down with the details but I have decided that it is time to go on an extreme health kick. So for the month of September I am going to be cooking a lot out of Jae Steele’s “Get it Ripe” and focusing on unprocessed foods. My plan is to make big pots of dried beans, a pot of whole grains and then eat them with vegetables throughout the week since I haven’t really felt up to cooking.

The first thing I made was the Cannellini and Kale Soup. Basically, you puree 3 cups of beans and sage and mix the pureed beans with whole beans cooked in garlic and then add some Kale. It was really good and we both liked it. The weird thing about cooking Ms. Steele’s recipes is that I read on her blog that she can be serious about people following recipes exactly. Measuring out 5 cups of chopped Kale is kind a time suck (especially since it turned out I had chopped exactly 5 cups anyway because I have gotten really good at that). Nonetheless I feel compelled to follow the directions specifically because that is what she wants me to do. Isn’t that silly? I felt like I didn’t even deserve a compliment for the soup since I hadn’t really made it any differently than a robot would have. God I wish I had a robot.  I could just hand the recipe to it and it would make whatever I wanted. Today I think I would make it cook me this tofu ceviche from Top Chef. And I would have it speak with a cockney accent. And it would sing “Can I Borrow a Feeling” when I am feeling low.


13 thoughts on “They Punctured My Yolk

  1. Jes

    I think beans and soups and rice are definitely the way to get through a funk. Measuring everything exactly though? I dunno, sounds too mathematical to be fun 🙂


  2. mollyjade

    I just made her ginger pasta salad last night, except I’m incapable of following recipes exactly. No amount of author disapproval will change that!

    That soup looks good though. I’ll have to give it a try.

  3. lazysmurf Post author

    oh yeah ladies, I will not be measuring out Kale again, I just thought it was funny that I was so susceptible to people telling me what to do.

  4. taleoftwovegans

    Oh no! I hope you’re back to feeling better soon. I prescribe miso soup, with 5 cups of kale. 🙂

  5. t

    My vegan kitchen robot would churn out ice cream and challah bread all day… two things I love to eat but hate to make.

    This sounds like a good health plan and awesome money-saving tip!

  6. Alin

    So sorry you aren’t feeling well! I recently picked up that book, I love it so far!

    Have you thought about raw or a juice fast? I find that really kckstarts food-related malaise.

    Just feel better!

  7. lazysmurf Post author

    Alin- I have done both before and they did help but it is just so expensive. If I only had that damn robot…

  8. jae steele

    sorry to read you’re not feeling well – i hope that a good dose of whole foods will serve you well.

    i can’t say i’m thrilled when i read “really anal”and my name in the same sentence, and i thought i’d set the record straight (for you, Jes, and mollyjade). i could care less if you use 5 cups or 7 cups or 3 cups of kale in the cannellini soup! i know that people use cookbooks in very different ways – some peeps follow them to the letter, and other simply use them for inspiration. i expect my readers fall into both camps. and i suspect that you thinking that i’m strict about following recipes to the letter, you were reading my blog post calling for recipe testers for my second book – and i’m sure you can respect that in that instance, rigidity makes sense. if i have a recipe tester that makes a salad dressing that calls for 1/4 cup lemon juice and they only put in 2 or 3 tbsp, and then tell me it’s too oily, or they put in a tbsp of salt when it calls for a tsp and tell me it’s too salty, what’s the point of testing? i have a troop of 40 testers giving me feedback so that i know the recipes work as they’re written for me and others. once the book is printed, it’s out of my hands and available for folks to interpret how they see fit, but it’s my obligation to anyone laying down cash for my book that they’re getting what they paid for. y’dig? (and really, i had no intention of ranting here, i’m just not very succinct this evening!)

    hope you find some other recipes in Get It Ripe that you like, put your love into them (which a robot never could), and that you feel free to make them however it suits you. enjoy!

  9. lazysmurf Post author

    Oh my gosh, I so didn’t mean to offend! I was just laughing that I was so easily influenced by what people say. We liked the recipe!

  10. Carrie

    Sorry you haven’t been feeling all that great. Right now I’m on a 30 day detox thing and it’s really helping me. I hope your ‘detox’ does the same for you. 🙂

    I haven’t tried that soup yet but I have it bookmarked in my copy. May I recommend the millet tourtiere? Mmmm! I also really liked the tofu with peppers and mushrooms or whatever it is called

  11. fortheloveofguava

    ….the problem with robots is that the chance of them going rogue and decapitating you and adding you to your bean and kale soup is pretty much inevitable… but the musical accompany to a hard day really can’t be beat… hmmm… rough decision…

    … hope nothing is ‘too’ bad… and hope your detox perks you up!

    **non rogue robot says, “robot love smurfsky…”**

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