I used to live in Olympia Washington.
Then I thought about moving to Portland along with a lot of my friends. Then I did other stuff instead. So now Portland is like the path not taken and I spend the whole time thinking about that. I wonder if I had moved to Portland if I still would have become vegan? Would I still live with beagles? Would I be famous for having sexual relations with the president? Would I have become a world class figure skater? We’ll never know. It was really exciting to see all of my friends. I went to Olympia and ate at Le Voyer. I couldn’t believe how everything there seemed to be exactly the same. It was as close to time traveling as I will ever get since the only thing that felt different was me. I laughed out loud when it started raining. It is a special kind of rain in Olympia that I can’t describe. My friend Jen and I drove through the mountains to the Gorge at George Washington.
We camped
and we built a fort and we saw a really good band.
Then we raced across Washington so some asshole named Thor could refuse me passage on a train and we drove back to Portland. We got doughnuts
mine was so cute!
I stayed with my friend Hannah
and my friends came up from Idaho
and we decided to make sandwiches. A lot of sandwiches.
then we went to a park and ate the sandwiches
nate loved his sandwich so much he couldn’t believe it. 
ryan also loves sandwiches but could still conversate while eating
Steve’s sandwich tried to kill him
Hannah destroyed her sandwich
Look at the muscles Nate used to attack his sandwich
After that some people got in the raging river
Others hung out looking manly
and then there was Ryan
I invited Kevin and Carrie to go with us to the sandwich picnic but they couldn’t come because Carrie is a celiac and can’t eat sandwiches. I felt really bad because I kept saying the word sandwiches over and over again not realizing that I was probably terrorizing her. Like if someone kept asking me to go to a hog roast and when I declined they kept mentioning different ways they were gonna cook the pig. They still let me stay at there house and play with their psychotically adorable kitties
and they took me to Blossoming Lotus where I finally got to try soy curls. Hey Wheatsville, get your act together and get some motherforkin soy curls they are delicious, nutritious, cheap, and gluten free.
I bought some later in on in the week at Food Fight in the vegan strip mall. I bought a lot of food that day and then I couldn’t walk home because I was too full. That was after I stayed with Claire and Jason who took me to a bar because they know I enjoy drinking.
We also went to the Bay leaf restaurant because we do enjoy eating. I ate lots of stuff there that was good and all their garnishes looked like little critters. The mango tofu was the best.
and Claire and Jason got the tea which was outstanding!
I think I had biscuits and gravy three times on the trip, that is something you can’t get here unless you make it yourself. 
Overall I mostly cooked with friends at home instead of going out. It was fun because their kitchens were approximately 40 degrees cooler than mine and it is really neat to cook on a stove that doesn’t slope. And we got to go to a lot of grocery stores and I got to see Sharif dance in the store to “What a Feelin“
I love you Pacific Northwest! I love your trees and your rivers, your spring enhanced dance floors, your efficient public transportation, your people, your smurf like society, and your vegan bars and vegan breakfast spots. I’ll be back after I get warmed up.
Lazy Smurf's Guide 
What an amazing sounding vacation!!!
WHOA. Where did you get those biscuits and gravy?!
What a fun trip you had!
the ones in the picture are from Gravy, they had the craziest hashbrowns there!
What a rockin’ trip!! And I had no idea soy curls were g-free, definitely good to know. One of these days I’m gonna make it out to the northwest!
I went to Gravy and they didn’t have any vegan biscuits OR gravy. Are you telling me in 3 weeks they added vegan stuff!!??!?
hmm it was definitely gravy that we went too, they were side dishes the scrambles looked like more food than I could ever hope to eat. Now you will have a reason to go back!
That is SERIOUSLY annoying. I even talked with a long-time waitress about why they didn’t have anything vegan, and she said they had a large enough customer base without adding it. And then not less than a month later, they did.
*annoyed*
But I’m glad you had a wonderful trip!
you know, maybe it wasn’t vegan. They don’t have a menu online and I got so used to everything being vegan that I might have seen Veg Gravy and assumed. I didn’t get sick…
…I can see all obstacles in my waaaaaayy…. 🙂
thanks for letting us tag along that was wonderful… I’m glad you didn’t move to portland though… would have been a boring year with out that sex scandal at the ice rink with the president as recounted by those anonymous beagles….
That sounds like such a great trip! I cannot wait to get myself to Portland, hopefully sometime next year.
Pingback: Do We Need To Add “i Clearly Did Not Read This Entire Article,” To The R@s Drinking Game? « Eco 1st Technology Group
It was REALLY fun hangin’ out with you! We miss you and definitely want to visit Austin.:) I think the best biscuits and gravy in Portland are at Bread and Ink( try the waffle window) followed by Pine State Biscuits. Unfortunately both do awesome veggie, but not vegan( that I know of).
Gravy does have a large number of vegan options. I’m not sure about the biscuits, because I am so distracted by the make-your-own scrambles. The first few times I went they had 0 vegan, so I ignored it for a couple of years til I saw this:
http://stumptownvegans.com/2008/07/22/gravy/
thanks for clearing that up Susan, the one at Vita was better anyway!
Come visit us in Portland again- so many more places to try. Did you eat at any of the food carts? The new DC Vegetarian downtown has the best comfort burgers, and Whiffies in “Cartopia” on SE 12th & Hawthorne always has vegan savory handpies- all of their sweet pies are vegan, too, so you can have an entire meal of pies! Homegrown Smoker on NE Alberta is 100% vegan BBQ, beloved by non-vegans, too.
Then there’s the vegan Vietnamese restaurants run by Buddhist nuns…
I know there were so many places to try! I could never do them all and ended up cooking a lot and hanging out with friends. I really wanted to try the vegan BBQ but was too stuffed with pizza when I walked by it!
Hello there…
It was great to finially meet the great Bogdonich (I don’t know how the fucking spell that!) I dig the blog! See you soonish I’m sure!
xoxo
Isn’t it great to actually enjoy being outdoors? What a wonderful vacation!
what are soy curls?
also, awesome!! did you get ur donuts at Voodoo Donuts? I looove Portland!
maisquared- I did get my doughnuts at vodoo doughnuts, they were awesome. Soy curls are these dehydrated stips of soy protein. You add water and flavoring and they get a really nice texture.
Pingback: Whole Foods Doughnut, why do you suck? « Lazy Smurf’s Guide to Life